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The following comes from the Vitae Patrum (Life of the Fathers), compiled,
in Latin, in 1628 by Heribert Rosweyde, S.J., from sources dating to the
third and fourth centuries.
Book V
Verse IV
There was a certain
brother who was most zealous in ordering his life. And when he was grievously
troubled by the demon of sex he went to a certain old man and told him his
thoughts. When this expert heard, he was indignant and called the brother
a miserable wretch unworthy of the monk's habit to entertain such thoughts.
The brother, hearing this, despaired of himself, left his cell and began
to go back to the world. But by the mercy of God, Abba Apollo met him, and
seeing that he was upset and unhappy he asked him, "Brother, why so sad?"
In great confusion of mind he was at first unwilling to answer, but in the
face of much questioning by the old man as to what the matter was he at last
confessed, saying, "I am bothered by thoughts of sex, and I confessed to
that old man and according to him there is no hope of salvation for me, so
in despair I'm going back to the world."
When Father Apollo heard this he talked and reasoned with him like a wise
physician, saying, "Don't be too dumbfounded, or despairing of yourself.
Even at my age and state of life I can be greatly troubled by thoughts such
as these. Don't collapse in this time of testing; it can be cured not so
much by human advice as by the mercy of God. But just for today grant me
one request: go back to your cell."
This the brother did.
Abba Apollo, however, hastened to the cell of that old man who had sown despair
and, standing outside, prayed the Lord, "Lord, Who allows us to be tempted
for our good, turn the battle which this brother has suffered against this
old man, that in his old age he may learn from experience what he didn't
learn long since: that you must have compassion on those who are troubled
by this sort of temptation."
Having completed his prayer he saw an Ethiopian standing by the cell casting
arrows against this old man, who, severely wounded, began to stagger about
here and there as if drunk with wine. Unable to bear it any longer the old
man rushed out of the cell and began to return to the world by the same road
as the young brother had taken.
But Abba Apollo, knowing what was happening, met him, and running up to him
asked, "Where are you going? And what is the reason for the agitated state
you are in?"
But he, sensing that the holy man knew all about what was happening, could
say nothing for very shame.
"Go back to your cell," said Abba Apollo, "and acknowledge your own weakness,
recognise it as part of yourself. For either you have been overlooked by
the devil up till now, or else despised as being so lacking in virtue as
to be unworthy of striving against him. Did I say 'strive'? You weren't even
able to put up with his attacks for a single day! But all this happened to
you because when that young man was attacked by our common adversary, instead
of giving him helpful advice against the devil as you ought, you drove him
into despair, forgetful of that wise precept by which we are bidden to save
those on a pathway towards death and neglect not to redeem the condemned.
Nor have you heeded the sayings of our Saviour, 'A bruised reed he shall
not break, and a smoking flax he shall not quench'. No one can withstand
the attacks of the enemy, or quench and contain the fire of rebellious nature,
unless the grace of God comes to the aid of our natural infirmity, which
in all our prayer we beg God in his mercy to heal in us, and that He may
turn away from us the attacks launched against us, for it is of Him that
we are cast down and again restored to the way of salvation, it is He Who
strikes and then heals us with His hands, He humbles and exalts, He kills
and makes alive, He leads us down to the depths and raises us up again".
Having said this he prayed, and at once the old man was freed from that battle.
And Abba Apollo urged him to seek from the Lord a tongue of discretion, so
that he might know when the time was right for giving a sermon.
~~ Translated by
Benedict Baker, may he rest in peace. |
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